People
have been getting married for thousands of years without suffering from heart
attacks or 
nervous breakdowns.
Well... not very many heart attacks or nervous breakdowns! It's only recently
that weddings have become more complicated with a
plethora of new options and contradictory information from a variety of sources.
A proper attitude, careful planning, and the right wedding professionals
are the cornerstones that will help your Wedding Day become an exhilarating
experience!
One of the most important tips that we offer newlyweds is to prioritize "fun" over everything being "perfect". Something unexpected is almost certain to happen! The ceremony may not begin on time, the champagne may be warmer than you ideally prefer, and Aunt Martha may have some punch spilled on her dress. So what? These are unfortunate occurrences, but not tragedies that should affect your perception of your Wedding Day! Newlyweds who simply focus on enjoying their Wedding Day and having fun instead of insisting that everything be perfect will be more flexible when something unfortunate or unexpected happens.
Secondly,
get all agreements with wedding vendors in writing. These agreements (or contracts) should contain the complete
agreement to prevent misunderstandings in the future. Be certain that all of the T's are crossed, and all of the
I's are dotted. According to
experts, Clients who didn’t fully understand their contracts cause 40% of all
wedding-related problems!
Thirdly, don't fall prey to the trap of trying to micro-manage everything. Instead, listen to the suggestions from your wedding professionals (Caterer, Photographer, Videographer, Mobile DJ). These experts can offer solid advice based on many years of experience at wedding ceremonies and receptions. They have first hand knowledge! They can also probably recommend other vendors to Brides and Grooms based on their professional experiences with these people.
Finally, on your Wedding Day plan to relax, smile, laugh, visit, eat, drink, dance, and have fun! Remember, there is no one "correct" way to plan or schedule a wedding day. There are an infinite number of options available that are acceptable. New trends, styles, personal preferences, and other factors may cause some of this information to become obsolete. Because of its overwhelming importance, we once again repeat our most important, numero uno tip for newlyweds: Prioritize Fun Over Everything Needing To Be Perfect! Don't fall prey to the trap of becoming a control freak. Don't try to micro-manage everything! Instead, hire and entrust competent people to handle your wedding details, and leave the details to them. That's their job. Your task is to simply enjoy your special day! Your Wedding Day deserves to be filled with happy memories!
Click below to read advice on the following:
It Is Important To...
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Save all receipts, cancelled checks, and credit card charges from all purchases and deposits.
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Keep copies of all signed contracts. If a store will not give a carbon copy, ask for a photocopy.
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Keep a record of all phone calls and verbal exchanges with all of the companies you are working with.
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Over the course of your planning, keep in regular contact with your companies to ensure your plans are on schedule and possible mistakes may be corrected at an early time.
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Consider hiring a wedding planner to help you with this work. A wedding planner is especially helpful if you have a busy schedule or you are planning and you are not in the same city or state.
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Make all required payments at the required time to avoid the cancellation of the service.
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Not wait until the last minute to pay and plan your wedding. Timing is everything!
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Give last minute payments to a responsible person who will distribute them to the correct person on the day of the wedding.
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The more organized you are, the easier your wedding planning will go!
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Reserve the last couple days before your wedding to relax and enjoy your friends and family.
Bonus Tip: WORK ON AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE WITH YOUR PARTNER....TOGETHER!!!!
It
should surprise no one that on their Wedding Day, many newlyweds are very
nervous. The following suggestions
are offered as a possible remedy:
Simplify
your Wedding Day plans as much as possible.
The more detailed your plans get...the better the chance that something
will go wrong! Don't worry about the small stuff!
Leave
the important details to your Wedding Day professionals (Officiant,
Photographer, Caterer, Disc Jockey, etc.).
Arrange for a calm individual to handle last minute details.
Enjoy a bubble bath/massage the day before your Wedding. Take an entire day off from work and wedding planning during the week preceding your Wedding. Plan to smile, laugh, and enjoy your Wedding Day!!!
Take as many pictures as possible prior to the Wedding Ceremony to allow more free/fun time afterwards.
Wedding
Ceremony & Reception Sites
Once you have found each other and selected your wedding date, immediately make reservations for the location of your wedding ceremony and reception. Many places are reserved more than two years in advance. Traditionally, wedding ceremonies are held in the Bride's hometown. An increasing number of newlyweds are having both their wedding ceremony and reception at the same site. This creates a win-win situation for the newlyweds who have fewer expenses to cover, and for their guests who welcome the convenience.
Here in New Jersey, most weddings are held on Saturdays. Because of this, if you select a Friday or Sunday instead, you might find more locations available and at a lower cost!
Similar
to the melodies heard during a motion picture, music will underscore the wedding
ceremony to create the appropriate atmosphere.
The actual music selections are usually determined by the personal
preferences of the newlyweds, and sometimes the religious attitudes of clergymen
(some wedding ceremony locations do not allow Wagner's "Here Comes The
Bride").
There are five categories of music at wedding ceremonies:
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The pre-wedding music sets the theme for the actual ceremony. This usually begins approximately thirty minutes before the ceremony and is scheduled to begin while guests are being seated. The music selections are often light and lively, and played at a low volume allowing guests to converse.
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Music for the entrance of the Bridesmaids is usually more formal, and presented at a higher volume than the pre-ceremony music. Although marches are popular, other beautiful classical selections such as Vivaldi's "Four Seasons" and Pachabel's "Canon In D" are often selected.
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The first notes of the processional music announce the arrival of the Bride and inform the guests to stand! Because of this, processional music should be joyful and triumphant. Wagner's "Here Comes The Bride" is the overwhelming choice of Brides to enter their wedding ceremony area. Brides who are marrying for the second time or more often select a less formal musical selection.
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During the ceremony, a soloist may sing or play a musical instrument just before the actual wedding vows begin. Sometimes a reading by a guest may substitute for music. This activity allows the Bride and Groom time to pause, catch their breath, and more fully enjoy the moment!
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The recessional music usually begins immediately after the officiant introduces the new couple to the guests as husband and wife. Like the processional, this music is generally joyful and triumphant. It is often accompanied with the ringing of church bells or chimes. Mendelssohn's "Wedding March" is the music selection chosen by most newlyweds at the conclusion of their wedding ceremony.
Receiving
Line vs. Bridal Party Introductions
Traditionally, newlyweds have followed their wedding ceremony with a time consuming "receiving line." Today, the majority of New Jersey Brides and Grooms are choosing to allow their Disc Jockey from SOUNDfx ENTERTAINMENT to introduce the entire Bridal Party (including parents of the newlyweds) as they first enter the banquet room. This practice often frees up more time for fun later and more dancing.
First
Dance
Again traditional, immediately following the introductions the Bride and Groom will join each other for their first slow dance. The song they choose is selected well in advance. Although customarily the Disc Jockey will invite the parents and bridal party to join in dancing half way through this dance, sometimes the bride and groom dance the entire song alone.
Parent's
Dances
Here in New Jersey, most brides and grooms prefer to have the parent's dances following their first dance. Doing these dances upfront saves time later and keeps everyone's attention drawn to the dance floor. Even more, this allows the Waite staff time to pour the fresh champagne at the tables for the toast.
It's
Time for Toasts!:
What would a wedding reception be without a sweating Best Man trying to decide at the last minute what he is going to say during his toast to the newlyweds? At many receptions, additional toasts may follow these remarks from the Maid/Matron of Honor, Parents of the Bride and/or Groom, and sometimes by the newlyweds themselves. If Grace or a blessing was to be given over the meal, it would be done prior to any toasts.
After
Meal
After
the newlyweds finish their meal, they usually go table to table to visit their
guests. Once the dancing starts, it is very difficult to get to speak with every
guest, because everybody is up moving around. This post-meal time is also
sometimes used by their professional photographer to capture a few additional
formal pictures prior to the start of dancing.
Last
Dance
Here in New Jersey, most Brides and Grooms do not change their clothes prior to their Last Dance. After the last dance is finished, the reception is assumed to be over except for last minute congratulations.
Disposable
Cameras
An increasing number of newlyweds are now having one disposable camera placed on each banquet table. This practice allows audience members to become interactive participants, and provides Brides and Grooms with informal pictures that their professional photographer might not capture on film.
Assigned
Seating
Why do newlyweds agree to assigned seating for guests at their wedding reception? Although this idea may sound good in theory and provides some control over their guests, it's not always popular! Additionally, some newlyweds and party planners sometimes spend hours and hours trying to figure out the perfect seating arrangement only to face the ire of disappointed adults who prefer to make their own decisions. At some wedding receptions and other social events, a small number of guests sometimes ignore assigned seating instructions and instead sit next to friends or relatives whom they have not seen in years. Other guests who have been assigned seats in the left field bleachers sometimes ignore their seating instructions and quietly move to a closer table occupied with people they know. This can cause problems for some people who are unable to sit at their assigned tables because all the chairs are occupied, and for other couples that eat alone because everyone assigned to their table has moved to other locations! It is becoming more popular to just reserve one or two tables for immediate family. One final note you should consider is to mix up your guests and families tables so that they don't show a dominant side of the room (ie. Brides family on one side and Groom's on the other). I personally find it obvious when one side dances on the dance floor more often and the other stands at the bar, or even worse just sits at their tables all evening!
At most wedding receptions, there are four types of food:
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The buffet meal allows guests to line up and select their own food. Try to have both sides of the banquet tables available for guests to line up to minimize time standing in line. If a large number of guests are expected, consider more than one series of banquet tables, or even "food stations" placed in various areas of the reception room.
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A sit down, or formal meal usually consists of three or more courses. Guests are served by waiters or waitresses at their tables.
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A cocktail buffet is often held for two to three hours in late afternoon. Finger foods and wedding cakes might substitute for a full course meal.
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A tea reception is usually held in the early afternoon. Like its name implies, it consists of tea sandwiches and hors d'oeuvres.
A
growing trend is for newlyweds to take pictures prior to their ceremony.
This allows more time after the ceremony for visiting with friends and
relatives. Another popular trend is
to have one disposable camera, or a new roll of film, at each reception table to
allow friends to capture informal pictures.
When choosing a photographer, check samples of their previous work and clearly understand their price and payment schedules. Also remember that a professional wedding photographer should be an active participant in the wedding day activities, yet not intrude or dominate the Bride and Groom's available time. Always try to know in advance who your individual photographer will be.
Before selecting a professional videographer, check references from friends and your photographer. It is important that your professional photographer and videographer are able to work together in harmony. Also check with the ceremony location in advance to learn if there are any video restrictions. Determine in advance if the video producer you are considering to contract will be using professional video equipment, or inexpensive cameras that are available at department stores. Ask about the training of the actual camera person and the video editor. Finally, inquire if they will be using bright lighting equipment that may affect the comfort of your guests.
Limousines come in all shapes, sizes, and colors. In the New Jersey area, newlyweds have a choice of stretch limos, pickup truck limos, sporty car limos, antique and classic vehicles, horse drawn carriages, and motorized cable cars! During prom season (April, May, and June) limousines may be in limited supply so plan accordingly.
During the days of the Roman empire, wedding cakes were traditionally broken over the head of the new Bride by her Groom. Guests would then scramble for pieces of cake, and take them home for good luck. Even though times have changed, wedding cakes does occasionally get smashed into faces during the cake cutting ceremony! Wedding cakes are now available in a variety of flavors (cheesecake, carrot, chocolate, etc.), and may have the personalities of the newlyweds represented as a theme on the cake top. Even though simple three-tiered cakes are quite popular, more elaborate wedding cakes that are a true work of art with a price tag to match (up to $3.000.00!) are sometimes preferred.
Flowers are used to add beauty and fragrance to a wedding day. When choosing wedding flowers, take into account the size, architecture and color schemes at the ceremony and reception sites. Flowers at the ceremony should establish a theme and direct the attention of the guests onto the Bride and Groom. Traditionally, wedding bouquets were made of strong herbs (such as thyme and garlic) to frighten away evil spirits, and to overcome the scent from some people who did not bathe very often. Today, flowers carried by the Bride and her Bridesmaids should continue the floral theme at the wedding ceremony. Good taste and seasons play an important role in the actual floral selections.
Folklore, Traditions, and FTD have cultivated the following meanings for flowers:
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Red Rose - Love
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White Rose - Unity, or Purity & Humility
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Yellow Rose - Joy
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Orange Rose - Passion
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Pink Rose - Secret Love, or Grace & Sweetness
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Acacia - Friendship
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Alstroemeria - Devotion
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Aster - Elegance & Love
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Baby's Breath - Innocence
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Basil - Hate
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Calla Lily - Magnificent Beauty
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Camellia - Perfection & Loveliness
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Carnation - Devoted Love
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Chrysanthemum - Abundance & Wealth
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Daffodils - Regard, Not Love
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Dahlia - Dignity & Elegance
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Daisy - Innocence & Romance
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Dill - Lust
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Forget-Me-Nots - My True Love Is Yours
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Freesia - Innocence
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Gardenia - Purity & Secret Love
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Gladiola - Generosity
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Heather - Admiration
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Hyacinth - Playful Joy
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Iris - Faith & Wisdom
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Ivy - Fidelity, Marriage
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Ivy with White/Red Flowers - Marry Me?
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Lavender - Distrust
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Lily (Yellow) -Gaiety
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Lily (All Others) - Majesty & Honor
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Lily Of The Valley - Happiness
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Marigolds - Jealousy
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Mint - Virtue
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Morning Glory - Affection
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Myrtle - Joy
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Orange Blossoms - Happiness & Fertility
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Orchid - Love & Beauty
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Pansies - You Occupy My Thoughts
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Ranunculus - Radiant, Charming
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Rosemary - Remembrance
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Sage - Wisdom, Great Respect
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Speedwell - Female Fidelity
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Stephanotis - Marital Happiness
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Sweet Sultran - Felicity, Happiness
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Tulips - Love & Passion
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Violets - Faithfulness & Loyalty
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Zinnia - Friendship & Affection
One of the most important members of a Bride's "wedding team" is the person responsible for hair and makeup. If this person arrives later than expected, the entire schedule for the rest of the day may be affected. For continuity, have the same makeup professional for the Bride and all of her Bridesmaids. Photographs will look better if everyone is similar in appearance.
Who Pays For
What-
The following list is only a set of guidelines. There are many wedding planning experiences which parents are
changing the traditional roles of expenses for the wedding. Whatever method of distribution payment you
choose, it is best to stay within
your budget and not allow "who pays for what" to ruin your special day!!!
The Bride:
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Wedding ring and gift for her groom
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Presents for her bridal attendants
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Personal stationary
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Accommodations for her out-of-town attendants
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Physical examination and blood test
The Groom:
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Bride's rings and wedding gift
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Marriage license
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Gifts for the best man and ushers
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Flowers for the attendants in the wedding
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Accommodations for out-of-town attendants
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Blood test
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Gloves, ties or ascots for the men in the wedding party
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Fee for clergy
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Honeymoon
The Bride's Family:
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Entire cost of the reception
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Wedding gift for the newlyweds
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Wedding invitations, announcements and mailing costs
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Bride's wedding attire/trousseau
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Fee for engagement and wedding photographs
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Ceremony: rental of sanctuary, musician fees or additional costs for decorations
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Bridesmaids bouquets
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Gratuities to those directing parking and handling coats
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Transportation for the bridal party to the ceremony and reception
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Bridesmaids luncheon
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Clothes for the wedding
The Groom's Family:
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Rehearsal dinner
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Clothes for the wedding
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Wedding gift for the bride and groom
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Any traveling expenses
Traditionally, the Bride changes her last name to her husband's last name. An alternative to this is for the bride to continue to use her maiden name, or hyphenate her maiden name with her husband's last name (long hyphenated names may have problems completing forms with insufficient space). Another alternative to this is to create a new surname, sometimes by combining parts of each person's last name (example: "Shore" marrying "Harrington" would become "Shorington") for both the Bride and Groom to use.
The following list includes some of the places where a name change may be required:
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Bank accounts (savings/checking/IRA/safety deposit box/etc.)
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Bills
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Business cards & stationary
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Car registration
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Club memberships
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Computer records & directories
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Credit cards
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Driver's license
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Employee records
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Insurance (Life/auto/property titles/leases)
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Loans
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Marriage license
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Medical records (doctor/dentist/etc.)
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Passport
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Pensions
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Post office
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Property titles/leases
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School records (high school/college/etc.)
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Social security
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Stocks & bonds
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Subscriptions (newspapers/magazines/etc.)
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Taxes
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Utilities (phone/electricity/water/cable/etc.)
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Voter registration
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Wills & trusts
Before
making any clothing decisions, you should know that there are five styles of
weddings: very formal,
Fashions
For Brides
When
selecting a Bridal gown, Brides should remember that the back of the dress will
receive a lot of attention. A Bride
will be facing away from her guests more than half of the time at the wedding
ceremony, and half of the time at the reception.
At very formal weddings, the Bride's gown may be in a stately white,
ivory, or pastel tint. Her veil is
usually long or full, and may double as the train. Long gloves are sometimes worn with a short sleeve dress.
An
elaborate bouquet, simple jewelry, and pale hosiery are also popular.
At semi-formal weddings, the Bride may choose a long stately dress of white, ivory or delicate pastel tints. The headdress is often fingertip length and the accessories are similar to those worn in a very formal wedding.
At
informal weddings, a floor length or current fashionable length of white or
delicate tints in simple train-less style is sometimes chosen. The veil is usually short to elbow length.
A simple bouquet is often selected.
At very informal weddings, the Bride may wear a suit or street dress. A bridal hat or short veil may be used, with a simple corsage, white shoes, and gloves.
Fashions
For Bridesmaids
Remember
when choosing Bridesmaids dresses, once a year Oprah Winfrey has a TV show
devoted to really bad, drop dead embarrassing Bridesmaids dresses and the ladies
who wore them at a wedding!
At
very formal weddings, gowns worn by Bridesmaids are often floor length, with
short or long sleeves,
At semi-formal weddings, dresses are usually not quite as long as those seen at very formal weddings. Fabrics may not be as elaborate. The headdress and accessories are the same as those seen at formal weddings.
At informal weddings, dresses are often street length if the Bride wears floor length. They may also be the same length as the Bride's dress. A hat or small headpiece with or without a short veil to match the Bride may also be included. Small Bridesmaid bouquets are quite popular.
At very informal weddings, Bridesmaids often wear suits or dresses similar to the Brides. A hat may be worn, and a corsage (instead of a bouquet) may be used.
Fashions
For Mothers-
Weddings
are sometimes just as exciting for the Mothers of the Bride and Groom as they
are for the newlyweds themselves!
At very formal weddings, Mothers often wear floor length evening or dinner dresses in harmonizing colors. A small hat or veil matching or contrasting the dress may be worn. Gloves, a small handbag, and a corsage may complete the ensemble.
At semi-formal weddings, Mothers may choose a slightly shorter length dinner dress.
At informal weddings, Mothers sometimes wear an elaborate street length dress with appropriate accessories.
At very informal weddings, Mom may wear a street length dress or suit similar to the attendants with a head covering and corsage.
Fashions
For Grooms-
At formal weddings, the Groom may choose to wear a black tailcoat with matching pants. A white waistcoat and bow tie accented with black patent pumps or oxfords is another option. A wing collar shirt is usually selected.
At winter semi-formal weddings, the Groom is often seen in a black dinner jacket with matching trousers, vest, and white tuxedo shirt with turned-down collars.
At summer semi-formal weddings, these same Grooms may be fashioned in a white dinner jacket with black trousers, cummerbund, white dress shirt, and black shoes.
At informal and very informal weddings, a dark gray or navy business suit may be chosen, or a white linen jacket with oxford gray trousers.
On your Wedding Day, it is recommended that you be prepared with some sort of Emergency Kit containing some of the following items "just in case":
1.
General
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Bottled water
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Camera/camcorder, new rolls of film & fresh batteries
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Candy bars, hard candy, or similar treats
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Cellular phone/beeper
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Credit cards/checks/money
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Directions to wedding ceremony/reception
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Gum or mints
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Pen & paper
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Phone numbers of all bridal party members
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Phone numbers of all wedding vendors (ceremony/reception locations, wedding officiant, caterer, photographer, DJ/band, florist, bakery, etc.)
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Sitting Stool For Bride (In case her train is too long for a chair)
2.
Spare Items
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BandAids
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Deodorant
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Dusting/talcum powder
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Electric razor/aftershave lotion for men in Bridal Party
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Hair spray/brush/barrettes/bobby pins
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Hand lotion
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Handi wipes/hand towel
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Kleenex tissues
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Makeup bag
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Masking tape (for ripped hems)
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Nail polish/glue/remover
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Perfume
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Safety/bobbie pins
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Sewing kit (needle/thread/buttons/etc.)
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Smelling salts
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Sunscreen
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Toothbrush/toothpaste
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Visine (In case of tears)
3. Clothing
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Bow tie/cufflinks/shirt studs/black socks for men in Bridal Party
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(extra) Earring backings
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(extra) Flat shoes/slippers
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Going away clothes after wedding ceremony/reception
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Nylons/pantyhose
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(extra) Throwaway garter
4. Health/Personal Items
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Aspirin/Tylenol/Advil/etc
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Antacid
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Antihistamines
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Birth control
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Cold/allergy pills
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Feminine hygiene products
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Pepto-Bismol
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Prescriptions/medications